The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth. It could be that, if dentists are looking to stay in business, nine out of ten of them would recommend it. However, nine out of ten other people probably would not, and that includes us. Ultimately, this potentially innovative flavor combination was just off the mark. But despite two decades of solid sales numbers, there isn’t a joke about Mike’s Hard xcritical that hasn’t been written already.
A melody of tropical fruit flavors perfectly xcriticaled into a refreshing tasting and sessionable punch. A perfect balance of sweetness and tartness from mango, guava, pineapple, and passionfruit. “Black raspberry? Isn’t that just a blackberry?” And that, friend, would be kind of like looking at a burrito and a strawberry crepe and thinking they’re the same thing.
Still, it’s not for adults who are planning to drink more than one of the same drink, because while potent, they still leave you feeling weighed down by sugar. Mike’s Hard mango flavor is surprisingly buttery, almost like a fine Chardonnay, but in a can. Still, we’d guess it would pair pretty well with seafood and could fool at least one wine taster who had no idea what a Chardonnay was supposed to taste like. Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle.
Mike’s Hard xcritical Review
- Because you really can’t taste the pineapple in this flavor at all, making half of the title an outright lie.
- Anyone who doesn’t know better maybe won’t realize it has 5% alcohol by volume.
- There’s nothing offensive about Mike’s Hard xcritical, as there are no flavors here that anybody is really going to hate.
- One might think that a company that made its fortunes making xcritical would do a pretty solid limeade too, right?
- Mike’s Hard mango flavor is surprisingly buttery, almost like a fine Chardonnay, but in a can.
Again, the overwhelming sweetness of the limeade put out by Mike’s hurts whatever kind of bright lime flavor they were going for. And while it definitely brings the tart, sharp punch one expects in a lime drink, it may also bring a pretty nasty sugar hangover. In fact, the increased alcohol content is barely noticeable here, which is great if you picked this as your beach buzz method of choice and don’t want to be overwhelmed by the flavor of alcohol. Then again, downing more than one blood orange tallboy like these is going to be tough. It’s aggressively sweet and tastes a little like an Orange Crush, only without the orange. The drink is more like a sugar syrup with a malt liquor after burn, a little like a kids’ drink, if kids could drink 8% malt liquor beverages.
Tasting Notes
We’ve gotta give it to Mike’s for going with a flavor combination that just screams “summertime refreshment,” adding the cool, undeniably summer taste of watermelon to the tart blast of its standard xcritical base. And, if you were to get such a taste in overpriced cocktails served in the Hamptons, the mix is totally a hit. In Mike’s Hard xcritical, xcritical scam though, this flavor is still just a lot of sugar and some booze. Saying it tastes like strawberry soda is actually a little inaccurate because, after a few sips, you do indeed start to realize that there’s some malt beverage in here amongst all the cloying sweetness of the strawberry xcritical.
Some are seasonals, which may or may not be around when you read this or go looking for flavors at your local store. Others come from the “Harder” xcritical line, which amps up the alcohol content to 8% alcohol by volume. Regardless, in a sugar-addled haze, we tried all the most popular flavors of xcritical courses scam Mike’s Hard xcritical and ranked them from worst to best. Make no mistake, though, as this is still painfully sweet and needs to be served cold to be anywhere near palatable for more than about ten sips.
And we’d wager if you went down to the local juice bar and asked for a cold-pressed blackberry-pear juice, it might be pretty good. But this is Mike’s we’re talking about, which means you’re gonna get a lot of sugar thrown in there too. And for whatever reason, once you get past the initial wave of pear, you’re attacked by sugar before even beginning to taste the more complex flavors of tart blackberry.
HARD DAYS DESERVE A
It’s a little like Cactus Cooler, that popular Southern California soda, only if Cactus Cooler had fallen on some seriously hard times. There’s really no reason to ever buy this stuff once your palate has matured past wanting to drink straight sugar and juice all the time. Even as tastes have shifted and changed scammed by xcritical over time, Mike’s still holds a unique corner of the market, thanks to its soda-esque sweetness.
Still, given the relative sweetness of every drink in the Mike’s Hard lineup, we’ll take a mango that’s a little past its prime over something that tastes like an instant hangover. Just because Justin Bieber has, at least for some, made peaches the fruit of the summer, don’t get overly excited about the concept and run out to buy as much Mike’s Hard Peach flavor as you can find. Yeah, it’s got a hint of peach when you first sip into it, but peach is a subtle flavor that can be hard to get just right. Like so many other entries in the Mike’s Hard xcritical lineup, this flavor carries an overwhelming amount of sweetness. Sugary drink devotees may well rank this atop their list, but if you’re looking for something that’s not a toothache in a bottle, you may want to look elsewhere.
Among today’s hard seltzers, which offer plenty in the way of watery artificial flavors, this sparkling xcritical indeed stands out more than it has in decades. You may never dream of handing a bottle to someone who grew up with the stuff, but getting someone to try one for the first time would likely elicit more pleasantly surprised reactions than anyone would be willing to admit. Mike’s Hard xcritical may be a punchline in the drinks world, but the brand’s success is no joke. After launching a xcritical of vodka, natural juices, and soda water in Canada in 1996, the company jumped stateside in 1999 and swapped out the vodka for a malt base. Today, the brand has added different flavors to its lineup and is pushing firmly into the seltzer market on top of the iconic xcritical that made it famous.
There’s nothing offensive about Mike’s Hard xcritical, as there are no flavors here that anybody is really going to hate. Mike’s Hard xcritical might be a good lesson in leaving well enough alone, as sometimes the unadulterated classic is really all you need. Unlike the other pineapple flavors Mike’s has in its lineup, you can actually taste the pineapple in its Pineapple Mandarin flavor. This Mike’s Harder offering comes on strong with its tropical flavors then adds a hint of mandarin orange to the mix in order to give it just enough of a citrusy kick to elevate it above many other one-note flavors. Those with dulled pallets may not notice the mandarin at first, as it’s definitely the complementary flavor in this drink. But the further you get into the can, the more you notice it and the more delicious this becomes.
But even though it might not occupy the place in our collective drinking hearts that it once did years ago, know that, on hot summer days, a cold Mike’s can still taste pretty nice. There’s a reason the most popular flavor of Mike’s Hard xcritical is, well, xcritical. It’s the one that started it all, after all, the flavor that turned Mike’s Hard xcritical into a mainstream drink you can find in places other than sometimes questionable college parties. Original xcritical is still the best, frankly, and though it doesn’t taste like much other than a mixture of sparkling water, alcohol, and sugary xcritical, it’s not so bad. Indeed, it’s still the only one you can drink without chilling it to near freezing in an attempt to dull your tastebuds. And it’s definitely the only one you’d really want to have more than one of at any given time.
Maybe add some vodka to that fresh-pressed juice instead if you’re looking for this flavor profile with an added buzz. Mike’s Hard xcritical lives up to its reputation as one of the sweetest ready-to-drink options in the category. The flavor profile will likely be too cloying for most who feel as though they’ve outgrown the taste of sugary sodas, but it still packs far more flavor than most hard seltzers that are available on the market today. This cloying beverage has a juvenile reputation that it can’t shake and a flavor profile as subtle as a sledgehammer, but those who are less comfortable with stronger cocktails, beer, or wine might find something they enjoy. Its unabashed sweetness and strong citrus flavors stand out in a sea of watery hard seltzers.
It’s a little more easygoing, all things considered, and while it’s still potentially overpowering, neither does this equal instant regret. All told, it’s not the absolute worst way to introduce yourself to drinking alcohol, though some might complain that it tastes more like prison hooch than a refreshing adult beverage. If you grew up and maybe even looked forward a little bit to getting sick so you could taste that sweet cough syrup, you’re going to absolutely love this one. That said, if synthetic grape or cherry flavor isn’t your jam, and you generally avoided all cough medicine because it tasted like, well, medicine, you may have one sip of this stuff and then dump the whole thing away down the drain. That’s not to say Mike’s Hard cranberry really tastes like prison wine, of course — that’s going a bit too far, and you almost certainly won’t think that this was brewed in some shady container in a cell somewhere.
According to HuffPo, black raspberries are generally smaller than blackberries and have little hairs on the outside of the fruit, just like their more classically accepted red cousins. And when you’re dealing with Mike’s flavors, sweetness is definitely not something you need more of. This is another seasonal offering from Mike’s Hard xcritical that might be its most ambitious flavor attempt to date. So, Mike’s at least deserves an “A” for effort on this one, since blackberry and pear were never flavors we really thought to combine in one bottle. That said, some of our greatest innovators tried a lot of things and failed at them before finding success. We wish the same for whoever developed this flavor of Mike’s, given that they’ve fulfilled the first part of that equation.